Well it wasn’t me behind the wheel, but I was standing 20 feet away from the car when it came to a stop. Some friends and I had a Mercury Topaz “woods beater” that we uh, beat on in the woods like a forsaken rally car. One nice summer day, a couple of kids who I don’t even think were 16 took it for a spin. We were…

Yah, Ok.

I'll take Irony for 600, Alex.

One wishes more strict emissions standards could be applied elsewhere.

2020 Hyundai Knickers

Air filters are like regulations for air flow, I like my engine’s air flow to be free and regulate itself. That’s why I always remove air filters on my cars.

The same magic that makes your toilet work.

Going a little fast there, buddy. Where’s the fire? *Points back at police officer’s car.

“I don’t feel so good.” A small, wan voice coming from the back seat. I know it isn’t a sound made by the car itself but it is an absolutely awful sound, especially when you are in a car.

I love the idea of a 1000hp crate motor, but the name is bullshit. A Hellcrate I can understand, hellcat engine in a crate, does what it says on the box, fine. However, Hellephant is ridiculous. For one thing, when I think speed and power, a Pachyderm is not exactly the first thing that springs to mind. Not to…

Dom: “You owe me a 10-second car.”

Fuck, this car is ugly.

But will it handle mall duty and a once yearly trip to Home Depot?

Pretty much all of your vital organs together are worth about a quarter-mil on the black market. “Imperial-class” Faberge eggs trade for over $1M, so you’d need to sell the organs of at least four people to purchase this.

Or buy a manual Tesla.

The Tesla already has a 375 volt electrical system and the batteries are rated at 500 amps approximately. Can it really be too hard to add a Magnavolt anti-theft system?

I feel like you might have missed the humour in the post.

I can guess: poorly.

In addition to an honest assessment of your budget, an honest assessment of what you actually need in a vehicle needs to be conducted as well.