ooh! Ooh! My mom’s family is from S. Florida, so “family vacation” always meant “visit Gramma and Grampa in Ft. Lauderdale. Cool. It has a beach! My grandparents live like, on the damn beach so my brother and I would jump out of the car, throw on a swim suit and run head long into the water on a semi public-ish beach…

I’m not sure how much of an outright disaster this is, but it was pretty funny, so I figured I’d share.

You don’t want to see my review for the Alamo. God, that basement!

LOL YOU ARE SO CUTE!! as i said earlier i would announce if i was up that way so there can be a portland jezzie meetup!

it will be a little harder for me to get up there this summer but I WILL ANNOUNCE TO EVERYONE when i will be up there

I have been recognized by Le ‘Saur. I have become Someone.

this, paired with your username, is making my entire soul sing.

My MUM.

I was about 12 when I’d decided I was going to be a Paleontologist (I’m not, btw, but that’s not the point.)

My mother was widowed very suddenly and all-too-young but to her credit, she regained her impish side within the year. One fine day, she was in the local supermarket when she ran into one of the town’s nosiest and pettiest gossips who wasted no time in getting straight to the point, asking: so, what have you been…

My mom is a spitfire. She’s a tiny, fierce, mean, Irish lady. She had 6 kids in 6 1/2 years. I have a ton of great stories about her, like the time she bought a huge crystal chandelier at an estate sale several hours from our home. Lacking anything to wrap it in for the ride home, she stripped down to bra and panties,…

When I graduated from college, my mom was a professor there. It was traditional that professors hand their children their diploma. The day of my mom and I both get into our robes. She sitting with the professors while I was sitting with the students. When they call my name, I go up. The president of the college shakes…

My mom is adorably clueless, and like a tiny sprite of a human being. She also dresses kind of masculine, has a pixie cut and is full of tattoos. So bearing that in mind, once my family was on vacation in Vegas. One of the days we were there, we signed up for a tour of Red Rock Canyon. Our tour guide was awful for…

My mom is a transplanted Midwestern lady living in a small island town in south Texas. There are a lot of great stories I could tell about her (she was briefly Mormon because the only church within walking distance of her family’s farm was a Mormon temple and then she got a scholarship to BYU and, as she likes to tell…

After a particularly horrific breakup my mother was my rock. We were very close. One afternoon my emotionally abusive ex was a lunch with a date. I wasn’t at the restaurant but my mother and her friends were.

So my stepfather had just died, and my mother was alone in the house. Some really dodgy-looking Travellers (that we didn’t know) came to the door and said “Your husband hired us to clean your furniture, can you help us get it into our van?”

Don’t worry. As with all of my writing projects I get really lazy towards the end so it’ll probably wrap up with me just copying and pasting Kelly’s “I Choose Me” scene from 90210.

Narration: Amanda Jones thought she had it all.

I have killed many an innocent vacuum cleaner over the span of my life. My parents would take the cleaner to be repaired and the repairman would yell from the back of his shop, "Has your daughter cut her hair yet?!" Finally, after the fourth time, he flatly refused to fix it anymore.

I'm so glad tomorrow's not a holiday so I can go back to being deeply ingrained in the business world.