Or you could have actually read the article and the mentioning of many religions and their belief in the virgin birth. But I suppose reading is really hard. Especially when you have some fake War on Christmas nonsense to go on about listening to Fox News.

My wife and I plan on getting a divorce around the time the kids are in middle school, just to give them a traditional upbringing. Wouldn't want them to grow up weird.

"They" say the first year of marriage is the hardest

All she had to do was go out with him, be a dedicated loving partner, and give him sex on demand and this all could be have been avoided. He is clearly just a nice guy who is socially awkward and has spent years of abuse in the friend zone. I mean really who is the real victim here?

Okay, so I understand that she has made some racist tweets or whatever it was (I don't know the specifics), and she was stupid to have that "slave-master" line (wtf was she thinking?), and that is definitely an important part of the context here. But what, really, is wrong with anything she said? I think she's right…

These are men who consider themselves against sexual assault, and are shocked to find themselves accused of it.

i personally have an extreme apathy towards the issue of celebrity (part of the reason i am doing this feature currently is to see if i can make it interesting for myself) but i have an even GREATER apathy for males who believe girls are concerned about what they think

pygmy hippo. they mark their trail by swishing their tails while pooping and swimming, and apparently they've learned to do the same on the computer.

stoat, i bet.

a male what, though?

I don't really see the guy as butthurt, after reading. Rather, I see him as trying to be "feminist" by talking shit on the dudes. Like, he is trying to act like he is one of "the cool kid feminists" and stuff and "the menz, they just suck."

Um, so are babies. Their skull bones don't fuse for a good while after birth.

It's not trying to. Any fuckwit can tell this is meant as a joke. Jeez, you're so sensitive and emotional...

See, when I read lots of these stories I'm like "Damn, that would have been a whole lot of fun if it weren't for the whole 'dying' part of the story!"

1. As a male, this is not news.
2. Darwin Awards are not depressing. They're fascinating, bordering on hilarious.
3. Hold my beer and watch this!

I snort-laughed! Because I read it in the voice of Jenna Marbles' video where she says so matter-of-factly, "Jewelry was invented in the early 1990s to tell men, 'I want to fuck you.'"

Literally, the only thing I would want to wear in this whole show is this gilded feather cape...thingie.

I am so exhausted by the constant disbelief and harassment of victims. I am just too tired to even deal today. Just fucking stop it.

like when it happens, i am deeply concerned that i like, made this creature up or smth and then i google it and my heart EXPLODES WITH JOY

You guys...Lindy is joking. The hyperbole is for the sake of comedy. You're still allowed to like the trash that is Love Actually. You needn't sharpen the pitchforks against the lady who just brought cock bloctopus into to Lexicon. That would be wrong.