As much as I’m loath to jump into this, lets be reasonable here there are some elements we need to unpack

There are three classes of felonies in Oregon: A, B, and C. Sexual Abuse 2nd Degree is a Class C Felony, which is, in fact, the lowest degree in Oregon.

Okay, now he’s ready to run for president.

As someone who travels for a living.... you are the worst kind of person and I hope you break a limb next time you’re rushing past people in the airport.

But where will the sugar come from?

That is about 1000% more work than I want to put into 3 AM pizza bagels.

I also don’t want to deal with making a massive quantity of something for one dish, or freezing or thawing stuff I’ve made before, or cleaning another pot. I’m good spending the $5 and reading nutritional labels.

You want to feel old, realize all the bands of your youth are now on shitty packaged nostalgia tours that you used to make fun of Baby Boomers for seeing. My parents lost their shit when Steppin’ Wolf played the county fair and I rolled my eyes and whined. Yet, the Offspring played my local county fair last…

Yeah but I don’t want to put in actual effort! Can’t I just pour some cheapo Prego in a pot and warm that shit up for four minutes?

What exactly does the justice dept have to do with an ESPN anchor? And what makes you think a white person who is Jewish isn’t white?? None of this makes any sense!

Chris Berman can’t be racist. Some of his best friends are Tom Jackson.

I don’t wanna take advice from fools... I just figure everything is cool, until I hear it from Jemele.

Here’s the thing... we started off friends. Yeah, yeah, since you’ve been gone...

Sorry, whenever someone says “Here’s the thing” to me, I instantly do that, especially if I lost interest in what they said after.

It doesn’t take much imagination to parrot a racist.

“You’re with me, black leather.”

Sadly most drivers today haven’t the slightest idea what “yield” means...

Yielding?

Am I the only one who gets Mark Schlabach confused with Mark Schlereth and always feel proud he made himself into this big investigative reporter?  

Well the Titanic had that orchestra, but I hear the BBQ on the Hindenburg was pretty lit.

Corporate cronyism =/= free market. Huge difference there.

It looks like they’re actually paying close attention to the laws if you ask me.