Other than being oblivious to Facebook revenue growth and the difference between “flaunt” and “flout,” you pretty much nailed it!

In a just world, Ron Gant would’ve lived to see his kid pitch for the Braves before dying in that tragic blimp accident.

Weird, I thought it was what made Clinton bang his intern.

Women in soccer, tennis, et al, look graceful and coordinated. Women in basketball almost universally don’t. And the number who are highly skilled is small enough that you can guarantee one college team will crush all other college teams for years on end.

You’d hold it against him if he inherited it; you still hold it against him if he works for it. You’d hold it against him for going to an Ivy; you still hold it against him if he goes to affordable state U.

My dad is maybe the least funny guy I know, and he would have made the exact same comment you did, thinking it was a very funny joke.

Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Kerry Glen told the AP that the reason is Reyes’ wife isn’t cooperating.

{never mind}

Sure, but the extension of this is that nothing in the physical world is parallel or perpendicular to anything. Streets and pencil lines, after all, have depth and breadth. Further, if you remove the physical element and define it by path of travel, the guy rides parallel to the ground while on the ground, and still…

Whatever ambiguity exists would have to allow for us standing and walking parallel to the floor. Perhaps the commenter does in fact have legs parallel to the floor, because he has none to stand on.

I just put on “Springtime for Hitler” and let musical theater do its magic.

Folks in the business say the guy is an almost unequaled prick to work with. Thanks Kubrick.

You know you’re doing exactly what people did with NFL hits twenty years ago? And what you guys give the NFL a ton of shit for?

Careful there bud. Why it is worse for men to hit women creates serious cognitive dissonance around Jezebel/Deadspin.

Whole lot better than it being your front steps.

Riding with a passenger take take a lot of extra work

Same with Syria. People are such pussies.

That statue is the whitest idea I’ve seen all morning.

I would say the same applies to grown men who spend their free hours watching other grown men play ball on television.

That kind of driver is going to kill a motorcyclist or pedestrian one day. As a motorcyclist, I say thank you to the brake checker.