This is like instituting a cigarette tax and then when somebody stops smoking, you yell “TAX EVADER! TAX EVADER!”

Re: the link to “Creepy Amateur Peephole Videographer”...I thank you for making the distinction, and I think I speak for all classy professional peephole videographers when I say that.

Yes, and the question of who is in the right here is an entirely separate issue from NFL teams being rich and Dan Snyder being a douche.

True story: one time I bought a whole bunch of stuff at WalMart, including two bicycles. I realized in the parking lot that the total seemed too cheap, and indeed then discovered that they had only scanned one of the bikes. Their mistake! I didn’t ask for the free money or do anything to cause it.

I guess I’m a real…

This is the same reason why it’s totally fine to steal from Walmart. I’m poor and they’re not. Fuck them!

Ninety percent of people will think this is awful but still cannot fathom why Apple argues for data privacy.

In his defense, paying an underage prostitute for sex is quite a bit better than not paying her.

Desperate three-pointer seems like a good metaphor for something. If anybody knows what, I’ll be up all night clicking refresh.

How degrading to be signing attendance sheets in law school.

Oh so the alternative to all this goat fucking is to pick another mate or mates among all humanity? People must really hate their plan B’s around here.

So you, uh, “breed” them, huh?

Ninety percent of blacks, you mean.

Whenever I have Under Armour balls, my wife makes me go shower.

Yep the key takeaway here is Cam Newton’s graciousness.

I’d lay nine cows to one.

“Quick everybody...act relevant!” -Boxing people