I’m pretty sure the common thread here is marijuana. The employees got freaked out by a customer and hid in the back: high. Dude goes to CVS in the middle of the night looking for cheese and spends 45 minutes wandering around the store: high.

“So you have no plans for the job and no desire to do it, eh? Fuck yeah you’re hired.”

Conservatism: Pushing back against objective reality since St Ronald of Reagan descended from capitalist heaven in the year of our lord, nineteen hundred and eighty.

To be fair, she’s probably a better cook than you are.

“Our culture is filled with bars and strip clubs on every corner.”

Speaking of cult leaders.

Please continue! I'm dying to hear how you have imagined pushing paper around in a Cold War era legacy job is going to attract world class spy to hack your recent history of Ramada stays and calls to your fat wife. You must be really important!

How does a cop with “11 years of training and experience” not recognize part of a donut?

Looks like a pointy Mazda3.

Meh. This semi-new-console concept is making me yawn and want to go back to PC gaming full-time.

You know what was worse? All the cops and agents looking and stumping on this guy, there were two guys extremely close watching over and another rider approaching stopped so easily while the convoy is passing by... if there were any threat, the cyclist would be distraction to reach the convoy easily... those cops are…

If I am reading this correctly, you impute a lot of ‘blame’ on Helwani for what is a violation of some journalistic ethic in covering the UFC (in covering a sport). Perhaps I have a twisted view of the so called profession, but there is no such thing as journalism in the 21st century in covering sports. It’s…

Truth. I love MMA, but the sport has outgrown him and the sooner he's out of the picture the better.

This. I didn’t get contacts until I was about 25, because i could never even imagine touching my eye. Had a few hundred extra bucks left on my flex spending one year, decided to get a few packs just to see if i could get used to it, and haven’t bought glasses in 5 years since. Single-day disposables ftmfw

It wasn’t the contact lenses that caused the damage, it was the panicked reaction to pain. Eyes that burn need to be flushed with fresh water, not dug at with fingernails.

Why would a treasure hunter use a smartphone where he has to charge the batteries every second day?

...I still use a flip-phone. A sub-Razor one, for that matter.

Running someone over for a minor traffic offense is illegal in all 50 states.

Who the fuck cares? You know what is definitely not legal? Trying to hit people with your car.

Everyone assumes that no-one has guns, because handguns are restricted here. In my 30+ years on this earth, the only handguns I've ever seen were on the belts of cops or Brinks guards.