Somehow Houston’s QB situation still seems worse for tonight’s game...

you think that cooler got the worse of it but what they didn’t show was Sean getting into his Iroc, flipping up his jean jacket collar, adjusting his mirror with the thong and beads hanging from it before unleashing the unholiest of burnouts as he tore out of the parking lot.

Looks like DraftKings employees are going from having holes in their underpants, to having FBI agents in them...

times like this I’m glad I don’t watch live TV, because from what I can gather, it’s these two, and some guy that is a cable version of himself that’s stupider or something.

This is the kind of car you want to drop acid, take a drive with some psychedelic 70’s tunes with some zebra herd nature footage playing across the display-seats, and drive into the lake because you really thought it would become a magic submarine.

No stanced is the automotive equivalent of sticking your dick in a blender to see what happens.

“I am so glad to be out of that 18-to-34 demographic.” - my brother, on his 35th birthday.

Hey! There was that one time the Texans were sorta kinda relevant.

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Hey, if the division you kept winning was the AFC South you’d prolly prefer to be remembered as an AFC finalist, too.

Stretching tyres, destroying your vehicle’s ability to traverse a surface that isn’t flat, compromising suspension components, compromising steering components, compromising safety components.

Gloating over a bunch of idiots that have intentionally made their cars unsafe to drive and then purposefully driven them to the most well known ticket fest in the US is perfectly acceptable

you know that strange sense of satisfaction you get when you watch a video of a guy crashing doing a wheelie on his “crotch rocket” with a mohawk helmet? yeah thats how i feel with the stance nation guys getting their cars impounded

this makes me happy.

“Hella flush”

I’m generally against the machinations of the police state, but I’m willing to make an exception here.

The Dolphins remind me of my problem I have with the Patriots (not the cheating). Their schedule is always practically cheating. They are in the softest division in football and guaranteed at least 4-5 wins a year. That means they only have to fight for 5 or 6 wins to make the playoffs.

They also always magically get…

They don’t really do ticker-tape parades down here. Instead, everyone just bangs pots and pans loudly. It’s called Pan-demonium. Because of the pans.

This info is great and all, but I want my news in useless bar graph form so I go straight to ESPN stats.

True to form, he’ll be 10 feet away at the press conference and still not know it happened.