Or have any belongings.

I would like to employ you to read all dating profiles I look at and tell me the real bizness.

I don't know what "oversexed" means. He has too much sex? He keeps having people check his nethers like they're "sexing" a bird? It happens to often?

Where is this girl? Running for her damn life if she's got an ounce of sense.

Bed, schmed. All a sweet sweet lady like me needs is to be topped by a disease-free jazz lover and then to go help homeless people brush their teeth. You can save the beds for the atheists.

If you mean "surprise" as in "not surprising at all."

So not only do I get to live in your bare, tiny-ass house, but I get to work, exercise and chat until the wee hours of the morning with you too? On top of all that I can't take a nap in "our" bedroom? Well sign me up!

Yeah, which is why I think he means, at best, "no muslims" (and that's a shitty best) or, at worst, "whites only." So...at best he's racist and at worst he's...more racist?

Yes, but apparently they wake up cuddling? Or does he call her in from the chair once he wakes up?? Dude your fantasy has a glitch.

exactly!! she worked WITH me, not for me... but I was still the boss.

Everyone wants a boyfriend who is a good boss. A boyfriend who doesn't tolerate slacking, who has a bedroom in which you will not be sleeping, and who wants a muse.

She works "WITH HIM, not for him." Right! Bringing light into the world, and by light I mean douche chills.

Like a larger, rounder, purpler version of a kidney. I specifically asked to not see mine (or would that be my son's? Anyway...). Accidentally spied it in a container on a counter. Almost ralphed. It's The Grossest.

I would rather chew glass and wash it down with a bag of hair than miss a single moment of this upcoming season.

THANK YOU. I'm still convinced that at one point, it covered her entire forehead and they had to carve her eyebrows out of it to put her on TV.

#rebelheart

OMG.

This was back when Crosstalk was mainly a private chat room you were invited to. This guy flew under everyone's radar as the resident "aww, we feel sorry for you, poor guy," until he went nuts and decided to target me. Other commenters took charge immediately and had his stuff removed, but he reminded me that he had…

"Well, you never know. I'm a very important person. I sell monogrammed coffee thermoses."