Pigs Collar Zebras, Orwell "Elated"

I feel like the Cleveland fans are fine with Haslam. I bet they would be fine with Haslam even if he is in jail. I bet they would be fine with the team being owned by a group of deposed dictator war criminals as long as none of them were named Modell.

Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. I'd say there's no more than a 1%er chance this is legitimate.

I know it's like they think there are a bunch of homophobes hiding in the bushes all around the various NFL team offices. All the Deadspin writers are beating around the bushes with a giant pole trying to flush out the homophobes. They're simultaneously starting little flame wars everywhere, setting fires under…

I think you meant to misspell "their" as "they're," shithead.

Judge: The Court is satisfied that the Defendant derived no sexual pleasure from the act. Therefore, as this does not qualify as a sex crime under the statute, I have no choice but to release him on his own recognizance, pending trial.

Galileo: Thank you, Your Honor.

It's too bad the play of Bubba Smith didn't inspire Skip to pursue a football career. I, for one, thought he'd have been a good addition to the 1970 Marshall team.

If Vic Lombardi had n e thing in him, he'd be a winner.

I used to think butt rape jokes never got old.

All that hard work for nothing, Brad Paisley and LL Cool J.

That's like threatening to fight every heterosexual at a Melissa Etheridge concert.

How many Soap Box Derby commissioners just looked the other way when racers started showing up with aeroshells that looked suspiciously like the outlines of a Chevy 350 L48? Because it was good for business to do so.....

#Sticktosportsjackets

You can't blame MLB for cutting a deal. I mean, the guy is from Florida.

KTVU is to blame here. The joke names were juvenile and easy to spot. The fact that somebody typed them onto a graphic, typed them into a teleprompter and then a woman read them is inconceivable (this word means exactly what I think it means). The whole goddamned staff should be fired for being stupid.

I find a certain irony in the fact that they're trying to blame this on Sum Yung Kid.

You don't even need the Primanti sandwiches (which are fucking delicious, BTW) — Pittsburgh fans smell anyway.

Oooh, cage diving with sharks! Nothing between you and nature's most vicious predator other a reinforced steel cage and a tour guide with a bang stick.

And, ye, I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.

And during Game 2, their backchecking paid repeated tributes to the Tsarnaevs.