He has a pigmentation disorder.

Cleveland is so still relevant, you guys! Also, fuck this cop right in his stupid ass.

As a Browns fan, I find your comment stern but fair.

Holy fuck! The Browns' game is three throwgasms! Somebody pinch me! Not there, thanks! Got any fucking exclamation points to spare?

Even when it was the bears, I knew it was pro-Muslim bias.

Seconded.

I enjoy learning excruciating minutiae that will have no impact on my life other than the joy of knowing something not widely known. In recompense, I give you this: In the Imperial German air force of WWI, there was no official uniform. You wore the uniform of whatever branch of the military from which you had…

Dick move, pal.

I'm a true Browns fan: I don't believe they've actually won until I sober up. I get these hallucinations, you see. It happens when the water for your bourbon and branch comes from the mighty Cuyahoga.

You got that right, Critical Bill.

Helpful and timely.

Steve Gleason is a mighty warrior.

Pretty sure it's more than just someone at Deadspin, pal. Also, are you Gomer Pyle?

English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?

Old man yells at cloud.

Herp.

That comment whiffed so badly it reminded me of the Red Sox under Valentine. As I was saying to my personal friend Tony Dungy, "You know, Dunge(I call him Dunge), sometimes the only thing that soothes my throat after fellating Roger Goodell(I call him Big Papa) is a little thing called Allagash. Citrus-y."

Sing rittle bildie?

+1 axe to the skull