I’ll tell them what. I’ll stop using the API scanners as soon as they fix the fucking 3-step bug. How about that?

Lesbian porn is like a Ferrari and Lamborghini racing down a mountain road, side-by-side, trading the lead, back and forth, as a stunning sunset fades in the distance. Male and female straight porn is like a gorilla jumping up and down on the seats of a 1985 convertible Corvette.

Yes, you are referring to Angie Harmon, aka The Marlboro Lady- also the ex-wife of overrated NFL defensive back and closet case Republican Jason Sehorn.

“oh LORDe, this traffic!”

When have we reached Peak Trump? When a nuclear exchange happens because The Donald and Putin got into a Twitter fight about who had the hottest supermodel trophy wife. That’s when we’ll have reach Peak Trump.

If Hillary called for Russia to hack American servers conservatives would suffer from a collective rage-stroke rapture. But let Donald say it, and I’m sure loyal Fox viewers are just nodding, cleaning their guns, and masturbating while fantasizing about the first impeachment of a presidential candidate.

He will bring feelings to a fact fight.

Donald Trump is the Witch King of Angmar. No man can slay him, as the Republican primaries have made clear.

Ah, the joys of computer controlling stuff that has no business or benefit from such a thing.

It’s not edgy. Maybe people just like seeing girls happy together without stinky boys mucking everything up.

Should of went with

Because of the menu writing on the small blackboard? I also appreciate penmanship.

You very well could. Free tickets, someone else having a spare because someone can't go, etc. And even then, if they spent the money they can choose not to pay attention if they want, provided they aren't bothering others. Is it a waste of money? You could argue that. But that is their decision.

How about its my money and if I want to spend it playing Pokemon at a concert while not harming anyone what does it matter to you?

Eh if you get dragged to a concert by an artist you think is shitty feel free. They already got the money. I know I would be on my phone if I was stuck having to listen to these two.

It makes sense that fear and pain would impress your herd of hippocampus seahorses deeply, because remembering moments of fear and pain can save your life later.

I had a kid washing dishes for me back in the early 90's. He brought in his comic book collection for us to peruse. They got left on a shelf and forgotten about and he parted ways after the summer. He stopped in two years ago to say, Hey, remember me?, and I handed him the stack. It was like I gave him his childhood…

My first beer story is actually one of the few things I really like about myself.

My Dad and I were listening to the Brewers game in the summer on our back porch while reading books and the rest of the family was away from the house. I was 15-years-old at the time. I remember he went to get himself a beer from the…

I’m going to briefly be that guy and say please do this at a car wash, where they are set up to reclaim and recycle that dirty oily water you’ve just sprayed off the car. Is one car going to ruin the ecovironment? No. But still...

What my sink looked like the last time I tried to chop veggies drunk.