This is the hill that you take your stand?

Asian american men make up a significant portion of the MRA/incel community. It’s a huge problem, especially because so much of it extends from the cultures we grew up in.

And I also know that being a white male, I’ve got it so much better than 99% of the population. I wish nobody felt like this

White male or not, EVERYONE has problems and it is MORE THAN OKAY to ask for help to take care of ourselves and become stronger. It is common to go to the doctor when we have an issue with physical health after all, awful insurance programs notwithstanding

Second these comments, in particular. This was painful to read, but more than just sorrowful: useful, too. Prachi has taught me some things about how MRA gets its hooks into young men. On these boards and in the world, we act as if humanizing people who buy into hateful ideologies is the same as letting them off the…

I’m so sorry to hear your pain.  Know that there is a way out - I have been where you are many, many times. I knew exactly how I’d kill myself and actually made sure I always had enough pills on hand to do it if I ever finally decided to go ahead.  I’m very lucky that I could share all of this with my sister who has…

Please seek help and take care of yourself, no one deserves to feel this way.

This is writing as an act of courage, and I will never forget it. 

Prachi, I am so moved by this essay. Your brother sounds incredible. It’s difficult to read how beguiling the MRA movement can be, especially to Indian men. I can’t imagine the pain of losing your sibling.

This was a beautiful piece. I’m so sorry for your loss, and for your brother’s unhappiness about things over which he had no control. It’s so frustrating to see it in so many men- that, even in the midst of their unhappiness and insecurity, they can’t recognize that patriarchy is doing this- that it’s bad for men, to…

How do you write about someone you loved intensely, but didn’t really like?

There is so much here to unpack and I know I’ll be thinking about it for a long time. The damage done to men and boys who don’t find themselves in the “ideal” camp of masculinity has such ripple effects and it is a short trip from that struggle to dehumanizing others who fall farther from the ideal than they do…

How do you write about someone you loved intensely, but didn’t really like?

i see so much of my older brother in this. the circumstances are very different, but the combination of untreated depression and a perceived failure to live up to masculine gendered expectations is almost copied and pasted. as far as i know, he’s still alive, but my father is the only one still willing to talk to him,…

This was a beautiful essay. This longtime Jezebel lurker wants to let you know that, I believe, we of the anonymous commenter community would like to help you carry the burden of grief. I am keeping you and the complex insights of this essay in my thoughts to do so.

Damn this hit a little close. I’m really sorry, Prachi. Thanks for allowing us this look into something so personal.

Thank you so much for sharing this story, Prachi. This is the most incisive and heartfelt reporting I’ve ever read.

Nothing to say that others haven't already expressed better than I can. Beautiful and heart wrenching.

Im glad this was posted to deadspin. As an older white male, it may seem like I am unable to relate. However, having recently changed jobs, I struggle currently with depression, questioning my value, my worth...I now become paralyzed at the slightest stressful decision, and I’m not sure that I’ll last.

This was touching and beautiful. The strength and generosity you have to write this up and share it with the world astounds me. I’m grateful you did.

I’m about his age; I’m the target audience for the anti-feminist stuff, though for some reason it hasn’t ever appealed to me (the benefits, I guess, of being a…