Google tells me it was the VMAs

I wish there were a button I could hit where a swarm of females come out of nowhere and beat his ass. That’s how that video should have ended.

You see the Brett Kava-nope expression on his face at 0:11, as he closes in for that killer move, guaranteed to make all his 55 year old bros high five. To him, her ass was a golden opportunity to be king of the kegger. It’s just locker room talk, with hands!

“I was just goofin’ around herpa derp! I got kids and a wife derpa herp!”

Dammit, you chucklefuck, your intentions were perfectly clear. You wanted to hurt and embarrass a total stranger because some stray gross impulse darted across your lizard brain and being a white male, you never even thought to resist or question it. You honestly expected her to find that funny or at least “laugh it…

“Tommy is a loving husband and father.”

You’re not alone - I’m one of 7 and there are 11 children amongst us.  Add in spouses and the crowd was 25 or so.  Now, the kids have kids and do their own and my siblings holiday with their kids and grandkids so my daughter (only 13) and I are often alone.  It breaks my heart for my daughter because she loves being…

I agree, working in a hospital in NYE would be the worst. I hope the new year finds you in good health.

I turn 50 in two weeks, and I’ve had exactly two Thanksgivings in my life that didn’t devolve into screaming blood baths or mind-numbing inquisitions as to my state-of-life... 2017 & 2018... this year will be the same - just my husband, our son, his wife, and all-day trivial pursuit.

Winner.

Jesus. Every star.

I enjoy the fact that the dog who ate the Easter ham was named Farfel. 

FUCK, man.

Twenty or so years ago, I and my four brothers are at my grandmother’s house in a wealthy suburb of Boston. Our unmedicated, bipolar mother is there, and she’s agitated and starting to drink (she went through periods of thinking God had cured her of her bipolarity and would then abandon her meds, and why not a week…

The closest I have to a disastrous Thanksgiving meal story is when the Golden Retriever ate the Thansgiving turkey. LOL. Otherwise, she was a good girl. 

You know those warnings on things like hair dryers that say stuff like “do not use while showering?”

Mine is a meal that wasn’t. In the early 20-teens I reconnected with a friend I hadn’t hung out with in a bit in mid-October and had a good time. He asked what I was doing for Thanksgiving and I told him I hadn’t yet made plans so he invited me over to his friend’s house for a Friendsgiving. That sounded fun so I…

Hah, thank you! Luckily, everything turned out just fine, although I haven’t gone anywhere for Thanksgiving since then. I figure I’ve earned my right to stay home from now on. :D

We don’t do Thanksgiving here in Scotland, not because it’s terrifyingly basic, but, well, we just don’t give a shit. But many moons ago, when I was at University, I helped a friend organise a Thanksgiving dinner for some Scotland-stranded Americans (apparently they were “lonely” and a meal would “Bring Them All…

You are ten times better than I will ever be as I would have noped out of there ages ago AND gave everyone my two-cents about their horrible children. Like, huge props for putting up with everyone.