I want to punch her. Hard.

Her poor daughter is going to need so much therapy for back-handed compliments and open-faced insults. Hope Ryan can balance it out.

This is how you know Blake Lively was a mean girl in high school. Because she thinks up shit like “meaty eyelids.”

No.

Discussion point: Is moving from Elizabeth Olsen to Taylor Swift a lateral move?

Taylor majorly upgraded to a luxury model

Taylor needs to write a book that’s like the lady equivalent of PUA. Or maybe not.

I hope they mean centigrade because 26 degrees fahrenheit is FUCK THIS I’M GOING INSIDE MY TITS ARE FREEZING OFF weather, not makeout in light jackets weather.

Mia Wasikowska: sure.

I am disappointed in my chief imaginary boyfriend, I was hoping his first tabloid romance would be some sort of romp with Helen Mirren or some equally classy broad.

I’m not one to comment on celebrity relationships but Taylor Swift Reminds me of some of my friends, the ones who cannot be single for longer than a week and go from one monogamous relationship to another. It’s so unhealthy, she doesn’t even give herself time to grieve before she’s with someone else. My friends are…

Those are really professional-looking photos... Doesn't look much like a pap who was sneaking around or a quarter mile away with a giant lens.

My brain does not comprehend this. At all.

The mental image that gave me...

True story: my 70-year-old father (well, he was a couple of years younger at the time) saw MGMT in concert and hated them. When he told me, I was so flabbergasted I couldn’t speak for a second, and then I said “WHY did you see MGMT?” Turns out they were playing and he was bored, so he went to check them out. I mean,…

Of course Leo is bad in bed. Did anyone ever have any doubt? I mean, since he was a teenager, he has had tons of young models clamoring to take a ride, he doesn’t have to extend effort and never will. He’ll be Jack Nicholson’s age, and still pull it out, crook his finger, say “climb on, honey” and some 22 year old…

100% believe Leo is shit in bed. When in his life did he ever have to even fucking try?

Jesus Christ who said anything about partners, for fucks sake? Can’t a woman just ride the dick for a minute and go?

Also, Kim looks more and more like a gelfling.