Working in pizza sounds like a perfectly good way to ruin pizza.

You get me.

I grew up in rural Illinois and Minnesota actually. Too many MN winters gave me cold weather PTSD so I have spent most of my adult life in Los Angeles.

Shitting in the woods is damn freeing. When I went on a month long national park tour, it was a struggle to make myself go back to using a toilet. It just seemed so unnatural.

He must have like an unknown medical condition. Like overactive tearducts. Regardless, it will be in my nightmares tonight.

Stop pretending that cats’ physical aptitudes are a reason to over rule their general shittiness.

Please tell me that is fake. I mean that is obviously fake, right? Why is his face ejactulating tears!?!

See the thing is, seasons like, legitimately terrify me. I am in Minnesota right now and its all fall-y and I just think it is so damn rude. There is a quarterly, physical, ENVIRONMENTAL reminder of passing time! Mother fucking Nature taps you on the shoulder every three months and goes, “Time is passing. You are…

This is why dogs are better than cats, people.

No.

Seasons?!

I. Have seen. Some shit.

I knew it.

Why on earth would you voluntarily subject yourself to cable TV?! This is the 21st century sweetheart! You don’t have to watch commercials anymore. It’s gonna be ok.

Eek. Maybe I’ll write a SNS post about all the shit I’ve seen. Maybe.

It’s...

Omg. Are you an east coast baby?

I’ve got going back on the road and heading back out west lined up.

Every day I go to work it is like stepping into the god damn twilight zone.

Hotels are the most fucked up places ever. Please go camping instead.