You get me boo

That looks like my eye makeup did a couple years ago when I was obsessed with “smokey eye” and I had NO FUCKING CLUE HOW TO ACTUALLY DO IT.

Romance is for plebeians.

Your hands look exactly like how I would imagine them looking.

I sincerely will never understand why “too much” food is ever a problem. If its too much for you then box it up, take it home, and eat it tomorrow. There you go. Two meals for the price of one. Why is that so hard to understand?

Yes to all that. Its really surprising just how fricking depressing it can be.

Dude if your dogs vomit is bright red then you need to take it to the vet pronto.

ESGASP. BUT HEALTH CODE VIOLATIONS!

I have the opposite problem. When I buy any kind of berry I will eat the entire carton in one sitting, no ragrets. Delicious, precious, fresh fruity goodness.

I feel so fucking bad for Peter Drinklage. He really is an incredible actor and the amount of roles that he’s getting offered have got to be few and far between. He cant really afford to be that choosy.

Yes but you are a precious angel cumquat full of magic and mystique. I’m sure that if anything potentially negative is within 30 miles of you, you start to lose you glitter powers. Its a totally legit sentimate.

OK. I’m gonna get real here.

I want her swimsuit. So jelly right now.

I’m not blaming the guy for punching it. That was still a safe move on his part. And I think that if the shark wanted to bite him then it would have. And regardless, when all was said and done, it didn’t.

GREAT MINDS...

He’s so cute. I love the sensitive types.

OK so I’m gonna be THAT person-

Its not a competition bro. You do you. I’ll do me.

Investifarter diamonds.

Poop diamonds