Ya think? It’s been 30 years since I last played my little sister and the bruise on my right hip is only just starting to fade. Related lesson: Do not make fun of a nationally-ranked 15 year old’s boy band.

How is this not at 100 stars?

I asked my butcher about this here in Montreal, where they’re about USD5 per lb (or possibly 100 times more or less than that - I’m not good with Imperial measurements). He said food fads don’t really move prices here much “because we already know how to eat” with that special “it’s good to be us” smile we used to see…

Have you tried home-made (i.e. with hot-smoked or bbq-grilled eggplant) babaganoush? It’s one of the few dishes that never tastes as good at a restaurant (I’m sure there’s some Michelin-starred chefs and some mute, inglorious back-of-the-souk geniuses who deserve better from me) and it’s just about impossible to screw…

Just in case anyone gets lost: NZ’s not in the middle of the Pacific, it’s down at the bottom left side. If you hit Tasmania or see penguins, you’ll need to pull a U.

I promise I’m not adding this to be a dick, but because I think this next bit might also belong on your list: you’ve got laws and government structures that were created by people who had never seen a functioning sovereign parliament at work and tried to build a simulacrum that would, they hoped, deliver its notional…

I watch that porchetta video every couple of months and drool. The best places to get it in North America, as far as I can tell from - at this point - decades of compulsively ordering it whenever I see it on a menu, are any of the little towns in Northern Ontario that have Welsh names and large Italian immigrant…

I am feeling this. My inner drill sergeant does the job your wife’s doing. I have a closet (ok, a spare bedroom) full of reasons my weight hasn’t moved up or down by more than a kilo since my first bespoke suit. And I don’t find the lasting effect silly at all: you probably did look that good wearing it and nothing…

Thank you very much. This is likely to have been the only time in my life that knowing all that was useful to me...

A huge number of goods, services and hybrids don’t have secondary markets - price discovery only functions for the first purchaser.

If you’re male and even half-interested in clothes, and you make friends with or start working with people who buy bespoke, it’s seductive. It’s partly having something to contribute to the conversation, it’s partly that the makers aren’t just the most knowledgeable, they’re also the best at customer service of any…

It’s really not easy to rack up a bill that high for a custom shirt. Top-end cotton from Charvet or Turnbull & Asser are almost never more than about EUR1000 and the best silk (which I’m not even sure T&A do anymore except for white tie/dress) is around EUR1200. I think the only way you could be averaging USD1500 per…

It’s interesting to compare it to the creamy stuff you normally get. I’d add some creme fraiche or mayo to eat it with rice but it’s lovely and buttery on potatos as is.

You might like this version, then: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2011/feb/24/how-to-cook-perfect-kedgeree I will attest that it makes one of the greatest baked potato fillings known to man.

Hand on heart, because of you I just went to the freezer to get stuff out to kabob tonight. Thank you for planting the idea!

Ooh! I hunt, and therefore I love talking about trichinosis and other parasites. I adore wild boar and I have eaten it in a lot of places, which have varying levels of food safety enforcement. If you’re in North America, you’re probably going to be okay, even if you’re going out of your way to court disaster by eating…

Clearly not: if that were true, we’d be able to field a decent rugby side.

Edinburgh edits that to: “If you’re ever in Glasgow, leave.”

Very true. And every single time I’ve eaten at the Rogano, I’ve suppressed the urge to ask for salt-n-sauce. That, I think, would be grounds for murder...

Wi’ salt, sauce and a cardiologist, please hen...