If you’re really going to try this, I would strongly suggest doing this first wth a small, cheap piece of meat. Longer isn’t necessarily better with Koji or fish sauce, unless you’ve got granny barking 800-year-old formulae for temperature and moisture control down the phone. Longer, typically - your mileage may vary…

Dude, I’m in the bathroom! A little privacy, please.

And what was the perspective that blinded you to hyperbole for effect? Bad angle looking down from the high horse?

Let’s put it this way: there were a lot more of them in 1948 than there were in 1950. Similarly, you never saw an East German with “von” in their name... Sima and Auyeng (and variations thereof) are the two most populous survivors, but I’ve met many, many more of them in HK and Taiwan than on the Mainland. Mainlanders…

If you’d like to keep trying weird-but-great cheap white wines from weird-but-great places, I had half a bottle of COFCO Great Wall Centenary Old Wine today at (and, truthfully, pretty much for) lunch today - it’s the best Western-style Chinese white wine I’ve ever had. It’s going to be selling in Canada for about…

I am unable to see much difference between people trading that recipe and people trading videos of bum fights. “I dare you to eat that” really ought to come to an end - at the absolute latest - around puberty.

Oh shit, yes. And I can’t go back and correct it because Kinja.

Nice recipe! I think you can also modify this fairly easily to make a base that’s suitable for Asian-flavoured dishes. Use rice wine instead of white wine, shrimp paste instead of tomato, ginger instead of shallot, and ditch the celery/carrot in favour of yellow rock or palm sugar, maybe? It’s not going to be…

Just tried this: extremely good! I like the little bit of vinegar taste on poached eggs though, so I put a couple of drops into the water - maybe about a sixth or an eighth as much as I’d usually put into the pot? Tasted exactly right. I’m going to try this again tomorrow at breakfast with some duck eggs, which I…

Her name is an anagram of “Half flaky serf smell.” I just thought someone should point it out.

This sauce, cooked in a metal pan with medium-to-stone-rare duck, is sometimes capable of turning the bloodiest parts of the duck bright green. It’s the reason you’ll never see duck with a berry sauce on a caterer’s menu: the colour takes about 10-15 minutes to develop - just enough time in the warming tray to scare…

PICK UP A BOOK, DUDE! Nigel Molesworth, curse of St Custard’s, ect ect ect.

My only beef with Bernie Madoff - the only reason I think he deserved ever day of his sentence and the hatred of a scornful public - is that he didn’t take all of the Wilpons’ money and force the dumb fucks to sell the Mets.

Fair enough. Someone’s going to have to call the firm’s corporate offices to get a ruling on this one.

They aren’t the oranges of Julius? Julius, or indeed Julii, are the nouns being described by the colour orange, in your view? Put another way, you’re arguing for nominative plural?

Feeling this one! It’s Habitant with saltines and a glass of milk for me. Worked when I was four, hasn’t failed since, etc.

Maybe sit down tonight with Cato’s “On Agriculture.” Solve both problems at once...

Ben ouai! My darling wife, who has never before been to Quebec in her life, bought it for me, thinking it was Montreal smoked meat. I’m taking her to Schwartz’s for a tutorial this weekend.

Don’t let it keep you up at night!

I’m going to make it worse for you: proper Montreal duck pastrami.