The thing about this story that I love is that there are absolutely no winners or sympathetic figures (except the two poor schmucks who lost their jobs and are Public Enemies Nos. 1 & 2 in their homes). Anyway, the rest of them all deserve each other completely and forever. Fuck. Them. All.

Hey you know what? These idiot owners refuse to acknowledge what fans have known for years. Goodell is a fucking moron. So let Goodell rule with an iron fist. At some point one of these dipshit owners will realize that Goodell is part of the problem. But right now, the NFL is a cash making machine and he’s willing to…

On a coke bender.

God Speed.

I think he should have to play the first 4 games with a ball COMPLETELY deflated... Like ur dad makin u smoke the whole pack when he catches you smoking cigs! Ha!

Still in California.

Obligatory.

Hey - I love Bleacher Report!

You could have just stopped reading Bill Simmons, continued smoking pot, and everything in your life would have been perfect.

Simmons is a 45-year-old man whose writing voice never evolved past the frat house.

I honest to god thought that was Tony Blair in a Cubs jersey.

He can consider himself a fucking rocket scientist for all he wants, but he’s not. The low key racist shit he says, his ideas on economic stature relating to the type of person you are, etc etc etc....he’d get no where with actual progressive democrats. He’ll go that red-state “call it like it is, but oh take me…

Here, I’ll whip up a quick one: The Los Angeles Clippers beat the Houston Rockets.

The first straw was being a 40-year-old wrestling fan.

“Nothing will ever grow from that patch of land.”