It was a joke, friend. You know, like a beat writer making a draft pick.

First of all, that is good burn.

Settle down, Francis. Bucknuts have chronic butthurt.

Hearing “SEC” uttered, Dan Gilbert immediately bolted from Quicken Loans Arena.

I always root for the Canadian team...but, for some reason, it’s just nice watching the Lightening win. They’re the feel good story this season and I’m not sure why. Go Bolts.

Imagine if Michael Jordan was still on the Bulls with D-Rose!

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT TAKE. CLEARLY NO ONE ANY GOOD HAS BEEN ON THE SHOW FOR FIFTEEN YEARS! JOE PISCOPO 4 EVA!!!!

Football federations around the world: PLEASE BOYCOTT! DEMAND ANOTHER VOTE!

I don’t know who I hate more, Sepp Blatter or myself, because I know I will still watch this abomination.

“Miss, who are these chocolates from? They’re delicious!”

This whole Qatar World Cup is starting to sound like a James Bond movie.

Pacquiao would’ve landed more five years ago. Not sure he’d have won, but it would have been a better fight.

No matter who wins, we all lose.

This is, on multiple levels, like watching Italy win the World Cup again.

So the two guys collected their paychecks, poked at each other for a while, and then they gave the win to the guy who’s chasing the undefeated record.

Brutal

Yeah, no shit. But we’re not even pretending we don’t know about this. Like I said, it’s right out in the open under the eyes of the First World. This ain’t slave labor catching fish far enough from western eyes that they can feign ignorance while they eat their scampi. Every single person who watches the World Cup…

I can’t wait for the inevitable VICE bro-down with the cruel Qatari leadership hard-hitting exposé.