I really wish that Oprah had never brought Dr.’s Phil & Oz out of the grays.

So, just so we are clear here is a quick summary of Tammy Duckworth’s life:

When I was about 22 ish (back when the Loch Ness monster was just a tadpole) a 60ish man put his hand down my skirt and squeezed my ass at a charity function. My then boyfriend tried to make me tell someone, but all I wanted to do was leave.

That explains the popularity of automatic transmission costumes for Halloween in Europe

Or the fact that he says they were robbed by a cop.