You know, Stuart, I had the exact same concern. Who better to strike terror in writhing morass of blood-guzzling demons than a sorcerer who's halfway between a masculine Annie Lennox and a fey David Bowie. (For you kids reading, imagine the Jonas Brothers, only ones possessing testicles and you'll get it).

@KingKevin: Pot is a gateway drug for many. Sure its harmless, but a lot of people I knew started with weed and progressed to pills and then went on to hard stuff.>

So the lesson to kids with media-hyped, crazed, out-of-touch parents is:

I think it would be some kind of awesome if Apple charged Valve $1,000,000 for this to list any friend's scores/stats for the Xbox versions of Half-Life or TFC.

Great. So they're bored with suing their customers for hundreds of thousands of dollars, pocketing the wins, then spitting on their artists.

@phatnacky: Hopefully, by then, Wii's will come with Spell Check?

Joe totally looks like the bottom. That is all.

(FYI, I'm a pyro)

How about playing a level that's drenched in 1' of gasoline! Bwah ha ha ha...

Underwater maps would be AWEsome.

@flashtut: "If Valve can't handle developing for both PC, Xbox 360 and PS3 then that just gives me a lot more respect for companies like Criterion or id Software who can handle such a feat."

Valve game on anything other than an MS-sourced OS box = football

If it's a game aimed at 12-15 year-old boys, they'd simply need a contraption that attaches to their right arm - the excess energy captured from that will fuel a 50-station LAN party!

If you can't play as Ozymandias (w/ a Bubastis sidekick) then it ain't a Watchmen game.

Whoa. You don't know who Duffy is? Geezus, you NEED to get out more! :P

Gawd, I hope I'm not supposed to insert the one on the left up my urethra...

So I finally have an excuse to wear my spangled Spandex, groin-hugging uniform in public?

Strap an effigy of George Bush across the hood and set it on fire?

Because sneaking in a thermos of Screwdrivers is a mild thrill but sneaking a Screwdriver at home is the first sign of alcoholism.

Can we establish a rule on Kotaku where anyone that says, "When is the [x] update going to come to my console", they have to drop a red-hot iron anvil on their crotch before hitting the submit button?