I would like to be bonded with my notifications. Anyone else having a problem? I’m not getting any notifications and I require validation from internet strangers.

Now we’ve really got bad blood

They’re calling this one “Squad Goals,” but why not just go all the way and call it “The Taylor Swift”?

I have the opposite experience to share! I’m broke as shit but gave my daughter a dime to put in her treasure chest (a literal treasure chest we made to pass the time, bc, as previously mentioned, so poor). At least once a week she “gives” me this dime, to buy something she’s declaring she needs in the moment. It’s…

I would hate-read the hell out of that!

“its like a tiny euro!”

Gwyneth is like, “this week Moses handed me a bit of round metal, he said it was something called a DIME. Apparently a dime is some diminutive fashion of currency used by poories. I had to take his word for it as obviously I have never seen such a thing before...”

- Caring what my parents think about my love life or career choices.

when does this go away, please halp

Giving a shit about my physical appearance.

CLUBS! I went to Vegas and wanted to die. All that noise, lights, shoving elbows and no where to sit. Also too old for Vegas, and I’m only 30!

Learning how to do a back handspring.

Sesame Street now lacks the warmth it had in the 70’s. It traded it for polish and production value. My kids and I much preferred our DVDs of the early episodes.

TWIDDLEBUGS!

IS JOHN LENNON SLENDER MAN?

Yoko, that is your fucking assistant taking the picture over your shoulder I CANT EVEN WITH THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE

DiCaprio is just happy to win something.

I’ve read about it in totally true romance novels too.

you’ve just named my youtube rabbit hole for this evening.

...if you need a shoulder

I remember!