Raise your hand if your middle name is Marie. *raises hand*

I’m currently watching Wolf Hall. Talk about bonkers over royal babies.

I heard that Kate is already trying to lose the baby weight.

I heard they’re giving the baby up for adoption.

yeah but whatever because Annie’s is infinitely better than Kraft

Grandma, is that you??? Have you followed me to Jezebel? Was liking all my Facebook pictures not enough! :P

You’re breaking my heart, Depp. You were supposed to retire gracefully, even if you still wore those glasses and bolo ties, either as a single man who dates women your own age or as the husband of Vanessa Paradis. Not a woman my own age. My 14 year old self is weeping as the loss of the dude who made me realize I was…

As what? An idiot? He came out of that closet long ago.

Good point about Hyde having to be re-approved, and No, Congress can’t arbitrarily extend its reach - it clearly says ‘taxes’. Not fees, fines, illegal gains, etc.

They’re victims of sex trafficking. Pretty much by definition, that means they are raped. Probably a fair number of unwanted pregnancies in that mix. So we’ll give them food and shelter but when it comes to reproductive health services, they’re shit out of luck? The sex trafficking victims?

So a room (full of men) is arguing about whether girls (who are not men) who went through the trauma of being physically and sexually abused (by men) for extended periods of time should be forced to carry out a pregnancy (something that will never be experienced by (cis) men) that resulted from said abuses, furthering…

One time I ordered a 4-piece McNuggets and was given a 4-piece McNugget box filled to the brim with tartar sauce.

I grew up around a lot of really old people. Some of them had been married forever. Almost every woman I had known was a stay at home mom, a nurse, or teacher. But all of them were married. Not all of them were happy. Divorce was still a little scandalous. And once these ladies’ husbands died either through heart…

Between Nicki and Lady Gaga, I can’t believe that heart shaped engagement rings are a thing.

FUCKING GORGEOUS. When I get my house I’m buying all that dark red shit for my parlor. IT’S LIKE BLOOD DECANTERS.

500 days of no Kardashian 2016.

Dear baby Jesus in a manger,

He wants a woman with back problems, apparently.