“Republicans: We believe in _________.*”

Fire?

Republicans - “We believe in states rights.*”

Tracy do yourself a favor and kill that pile o shit with fire

Racism kills: MLK said it best:

“Drunk racists with guns.”

Step# .05: Build time machine. Go back 30 years to find actual hardware store.

Sinclair media station?

I like that idea except he has Pence that reminds the fucker to sign his executive orders like that kid in class that reminds the teacher she forgot to assign homework.

Agreed. All that foliage is a deep shade of drought now and forever.

“You’ll wanna start with the Aires wagon in baby blue, then try to find an AMC Eagle 4x4 with woodgrain panels...”

Buy a Singer...

Idea: Don’t spend six-figures on a rapidly-depreciating asset that is a physical manifestation of your wife’s disappointment.

One well pad usually has about four wells. Like this:

Young and naive is a great thing to be.  Better than old, corrupt, and fucking dumb as shit like this idiot. 

Obviously they are afraid of 3-12 year old Central American rapists, which is why they need to be in cages. 

Anyone that knows Texas knows that folks here do not know how to properly secure household appliances or furniture in or on vehicles. Its not unusual to be on one of Texas’s major interstates and come face to face with a couch or mattress in a center lane

I don’t have kids, so feel free to mock me, ridicule me, and tell me what a huge asshole I am if I’m wrong about this...

Indeed, I would! 

Here’s what approximate 95% of the conversations between employees will sound like: