I wrote back that its not really painful for men to get kicked in the nuts, they’re just imagining it is because they watched too many dick kick clips on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

I once saw a comment by a guy who claimed that PMS and PMS pain was a culturally-induced phenomenon. See, he explained to everyone that we women are just making up having pain and other symptoms because we just want to feel special and part of a group. We are only pretending to have cramps, ladies! That made me laugh…

Education does not equal common sense.

Not “balanced”, hahaha. I’ve heard that you may or may not get pregnant if you hop on one foot during the full moon, but I can’t find any books that present both arguments!

You can also get a pill popper from your vet for a few bucks. It helps if your wary about sticking your fingers close to the mouth.

Oh, him I’d catch and hug, definintely.

Yeah, always call authorities if dealing with a raptor of any kind. They can assess and handle them. Raptors are federally protected and efforts will be made to rehabilitate them if they are injured.

Or, a hungry cat who will awaken you with a silent death stare...

Or at least a kick-ass honeymoon. I’d rather pay for two weeks at a high-end resort on a tropical island than a friggin wedding reception that no one wants to be at.

Honestly. It would be fucking awesome if, right after such a proposal, another couple in the final throes of a relationship starts shouting “I hate you!”, “It’s over!” right after it. A throwing back of rings would be the cherry on top.

Honestly, as a carb addict, a potato proposal sounds heavenly.

Local Trump cultists are saying “They can get loans! Banks are promising to give them loans! They’re not suffering!” Really, people? REALLY?

I want “Fuck you, Trump” on my tombstone.

He could have at least had it catered professionally. This was just cheap and low class.

By the time that food was cooked, delivered to the White House, and put on display for photo ops, it had to be at least two hours at best. Yum. Cold fast food beef.

$80? Oh my God, that’s insanely great. That’s about a months electric bill, and not three, four, five mortgage payments like it is here in America!

Welcome to the insane American healthcare system. You get billed after the fact but it could cost throusands. Uninsured people often refuse an ambulance if they’ve been in an accident because of the costs.

Yeah, I never even thought about that. And I have sharpies lying around all over the place.

They may be the ones to break into your house if need be? Help carry or clear the way for paramedics if its difficult to maneuver the house? 

He needs to be cosmically held accountable for naming his child “Blanket”.