Awww.

On the one hand, they’re still kids and kids are fucking idiots. On the other hand, their parents really need to be fined for releasing them out into the world.

This was the hardest thing they’ve ever experienced. Hahahahhahahaha.

Seriously, they’re going to have to either cremate him or bury him in a secret location.

Using public bathrooms is like owning cats. You cannot think about what you are sitting while on the potty just as you try not to think about where your cat’s paws were just before jumping on your pillow. You have to just dissociate all that.

Ummm, huh? I mean, don’t people need their junk mail?

I didn’t finish the article because the video on how to win over someone’s cat looked more interesting.

Just the Gestapo ICE doing their patriotic duty.

I want to live in a cottage named Frogmore. I would sit on the toadstools and talk to the bunnies every morning while I drink a cup of honey and run my bare feet through the wildflowers.

But they weren’t even fucking. They *gasped* studied in the common room together!

“Mommy, why is that scary man with a big gun here?”

or just straight up lard.

“And that those giant chambers up there, don’t be afraid. They are just showers!”

The whole letter was just his attempt to manipulate his way out of prison. He plays the nice guy really well when he wants to.

That’s why I avoid family at Thanksgiving.

You have little chance of scoring an in-store deal anyway. They don’t have 100's of the tv or laptop that is on sale. More like 4. Black Friday is insanely stupid.

“Murder is wrong! Unless its the murder of a journalist I don’t like, or if we will make money off of it”

Holy Fuckery.

Because the right wingers believe that women who have abortions are whores who should have to suffer the consequences of having consensual sex. This is all about condemning women’s behavior, not about “life”.

Gosh by this logic, any woman who wanders through the lingerie section too long in Target must be asking for it too. Unless you buy plain white cotton briefs, ladies, you’re apparently advertising to the entire store that you’re a harlot.