Wait. I’m over 40 and childless and the chart says that I’m now an outcast. Is it too late for me to go back and have “fast life” and engage in “dissipation”? I didn’t know how to do debauchery right when I was in my 20's.

Ok, but two elusive issues remain:

They’re for rich parents who don’t want to parent.

Next week, a bill will be introduced that prevents discrimination against hairdressers who believe that stabbing a client in the neck with a pair of scissors will result in injury or death to said client........

But that’s the thing. She isn’t a Mexican citizen, never was. Who is to say how easy or difficult it will be for her to get into Mexico and stay? The family is pretty much shit out of luck.

Yep! This.

This is why I don’t live in the city anymore. When I lived in a big city I was just a tense, overstimulated ball of shit all the time because everyone is moving to get somewhere fast. Sometimes its just nice to stop rushing for 30 seconds while letting an escalator do the work for you. 30 seconds. That’s all. Yes, I…

I have cigarettes and Snickers bars.

Ugh. Lieberman. I still curse when I hear his name for this exact reason. 

So basically they just want to repeal Obamacare and not replace it. All they are doing is going back to the way things were. Why can’t they just admit that they don’t give a shit about anyone in this country but themselves and call it a day?

Thanks. Didn’t know that.

Can’t this all be cleared up with a Bio 101 lab experiment? Get in shower, wash one leg, don’t wash the other, swab them, and check bacterial growth for the course of a week.

I wonder this too. How does one get an “extra” month of prescription meds? I could squirrel away a pill or two a month, but it would take an awfully long time to build up a decent supply. And then it expires after a while.....

Holy crap. If we ever did. Just send me to Mars.

Jesus Christ republicans are obsessed with sex. Do they really think just because a penis and a vagina are in close proximity to each other that sex is bound to occur? Just what goes on in their minds? I’d really like to know. No wait, maybe I don’t. 

Nope. You can’t. Especially with Sixteen Candles.

Actually, yes. I watched the movie again a few years ago and as an adult his character came off really creepy and obsessive.

Re: Cats problem-solving abilities. One of my cats has an obsession with jumping on the stove. Very very bad, I know. I keep him in another room when I’m cooking now. But, when I was still just trying to deter him, I would keep a water bottle with me and when I saw him getting ready to jump up there I’d squirt him.…

Me too. I’m a woman. I’ve never had a baby. I never want to have a baby. The thought of something kicking me from the inside and them painfully emerging from small orifice just scares the crap out of me. How more women aren’t creeped out by pregnancy I’ll never know. 

Can someone slip an amendment in there saying that whatever the republicans pass here has to become their own personal insurance plan as well?