Ghosing is trashy shitty behavior and people need to stop justifying it. Say how you feel, it’s not that hard! For fuck’s sake we have texting now, there is no reason why an adult can’t send a text saying “I’m don’t think I’m into pursuing this relationship, thanks for the time we spent and good luck.”

While my marriage was clearly ending, I took a dance class to get out of the house. One of my class mates was an acquaintance who was there with her husband. I was a smidge jealous (like light envy) of them and their date night, until the next time I ran into her at the pub. Turns out they were trying to reconnect now…

I think you did a lot of really great stuff this year (even the Whole 30, which I fundamentally disagree with, but it’s cool to commit to something and follow through). Good on ya. Here’s to 2018.

I appreciate your vulnerability in writing all this.

Ghosting really fucking sucks because it’s not even the fact they don’t want to see you anymore that hurts most it’s the fact they can’t be arsed to give you the decency of actually breaking things off or that it’s some weird game of theirs to see how much you really value the relationship.

I’ve always looked at love & being alone a little bit different than most people. Because I’ve always figured falling in love meant it needed to be by...accident. So I figured there wasn’t any need for me to go looking or hunting it down...because I might catch the wrong one. Basically I want organic reach, if & when…

This hit home. The details of my situation are different but I, too, have faced the realization that a long-term romantic relationship might just not happen for me, even if I do everything ‘right.’ It’s taken my head to some weird places, including a bizarre nostalgia for a bygone era (the 1930s-40s, I guess?) where I…

“What I’ve actually learned is that the work of keeping your path clear is a continual process, one so all-consuming that you may not ever have the time to look up and see where you’re going”

I think whether or not any of us find someone we click with, and who wants to stick around, is pretty random. I’m (sort of) reassured by the number of people at my parents 50th wedding anniversary who seemed to be in happy 2nd marriages. Like maybe if I wanted to start dating again, there’s a chance I might be coupled…

For you, I’m glad it was worth it. Sounds like you did some things you needed to do for yourself. It also sounds like a lot of men these days are douchebags. Or maybe they always were, and ghosting was always a thing, and we just didn’t call it that—instead, we called it “What did *I* do wrong?” I prefer “ghosting.”

Why is everything so binary?? Left/right, good/evil, Democrat/republican, white/black, in a relationship/alone... I never understood the notion that if you’re not with someone you are “alone.” That verbiage.... to be alone.. makes ones situation sound more bleak that it actually may be. I occasionally check out this…

I’m still in the relationship and could list all the dirty laundry now. You don’t talk about it while you’re together because you want everyone else in your life to support your decision to ignore those things. He doesn’t have that list, but the ability to ignore negative things in his life, hoping they’ll go away, is…

There is luck in this process. And something has changed culturally: finding someone who wants to couple up (not just hang out, or text about hanging out and never come through) seems like a challenge in itself.

I don’t know if this helps you, but as you get older, that drive to find a mate starts to dissipate. (For a lot of women, anyway. Men have their own issues.)

Aimee, you hit the nail on the head with that last paragraph. Excellent essay. And good for you.

Aimee, I’m not going to tell you you’ll find someone or you won’t die alone or the right guy is out there but you need to relax.

Wow, that was brave and beautiful.

Your first mistake was assuming we know what we’re talking about.

The one thing I enjoyed about their new year’s eve coverage is how deeply uncomfortable he seemed at times by her antics.

Kevin Spacey Christopher Plummer :