I haven’t bought a football game since NFL 2K5 because Madden still hasn’t caught up to where the 2K series was for fun.

“Our fan base consists of old closet anti-Semites and single mothers who take blurred selfies with Vikings gear on.”

I would have had more respect for him as an American had he been eating KFC while getting a haircut.

It’s no big deal. He was just trying to refresh the tree of liberty.

Germans have a weird affinity for red and black color schemes.

Smart move. Anyone who’s ever watched Mad Men knows Roger Sterling always has some money in his pocket.

They might have hard turf in North Dakota, but there’s a shortage of insanely fast, aggressive black dudes up there.

Well, it is NDSU.

“That toughness comes in handy in a place like North Dakota. You see, up there, jamming your numb fingers against someone’s ice-cold helmet happens every practice. Getting decked on the cement-like dirt is just how a play ends.”

That toughness comes in handy in a place like North Dakota. You see, up there, jamming your numb fingers against someone’s ice-cold helmet happens every practice. Getting decked on the cement-like dirt is just how a play ends.

As a Minnesotan, their competition for that title includes a bunch of nothing and the Gophers. That's not much to brag about...

When did NDSU start playing sports?

Shout out to Trunk Club, sponsors of Keepin it 1600! Do you ever wish you could pay more for someone to mail you shitty clothes like your mom in college? Well now you can! Trunk Club!

“Rock, Take her to the zoo. Retards like the zoo.”—Paulie

Kinda makes sense - that’s what Delly does in the offseason:

As much as I hate Grayson Allen, I hope he makes it as an NBA rotation player just so he and Dellavedova can one day bite each other’s noses off in a game.

Peter Pan is kind of a dipshit in that movie. Tell me this isn’t a punchable face. He’s the fairytale Jimmy Clausen.

I thought Gregor Clegane caved his face in?