Because you know the race of every anonymous commenter responding to the article?

Um, actually it's not about his penis. It's about ethics in journalism.

Quick poll: do you think this elderly writer who is concerned about her looks most resembles (a) Chris Evans, (b) Taye Diggs, or (c) a yak's scrotum?

"...fantasized about you for years..."

"My penis was just concerned for her health!"

as someone who has gained weight and went from being openly ogled to basically ignored, i totally get being over it. also, that commenter sucks, i still don't understand how being a fan of someone's work (though i guess he was only a fan of her figure?) makes you feel entitled to controlling someone's physical…

I'm going to write to every fat male public figure I can find. "What a disappointment! What does your wife think? Did you first get her approval, before you decided to let yourself run around looking like that? I'm sure she would appreciate it if you lost weight. We look forward to a whole series of tweets, Facebook…

Plus, when it comes to Madonna and her brother, the narrative always seems to be framed around the idea that she can somehow fix his problems because she has tons of money (and is therefor an evil bitch who hasn't used her money to do so yet). Addiction cannot be wiped away just because you millions of dollars.

I think it depends on which Muppet he specifically meant. I'm just glad he used his words to express his anger this time, no matter how stupid those words were.

I'm trying to decide if I'd rather be a "Muppet face ass" or "trout mouth ass bitch" and I think I'd rather be a Muppet face ass, but there's room for debate.

LITERALLY A U KNO WHAT

Given that I can't find a article about this on any of the gawker affiliates.

why arent we all saying A LIKELY STORY more often? well done rr.

so if I'm white and just mildly interested in her (she was amazing in 12yas, yes) then I'm not creepy or condescending? Great

I come to Jezebel because it is a good place for u kno what.

I haven't been watched 12 Years A Slave either (I don't think I could handle the brutality, to be quite honest), but she is so elegant and smart and stylish. She's such a great role model for young girls, especially after her Oscar speech:

Kara Brown is black...

I'm so glad Chris Brown doesn't "have animosity" towards anyone about what happened. Life is so much easier when you are not upset with your victim or the people who were upset about your violence. Having a conscience is like carrying 50 extra pounds. Who needs that burden, man.

There is an obvious answer that no one is addressing.

"Why pretend he was blind?"

When I was a kid, like age 10-15, I used to tell people I had no sense of smell. That was kinda based on a lot of allergies that left me permanently stopped up for a while (and what I later found out was a deviated septum), but it eventually turned into my random weird thing people knew…