He's probably calculating how many toy helicopters he would have to tie himself to in order to be airlifted out of the state.

I played rugby in high school and once got a wicked black eye after a play went wrong. At the time I felt pretty tough and was really proud of it but I started encountering the same attitudes as you. Nobody believed it was from sports, and strangers (mostly older women) took me aside to whisper things like 'honey, LEAV…

well, when I tripped, banged my face into an open cupboard door, and had a horrible black eye, I was pretty glad to have concealor. It was hard getting pitying/ condescending stares from strangers. I wanted to wear a sign that said, "just clumsy!" It kind of gave me an insight into how we look down on people who…

Ha. We could only dream. But I bet what this actually means is that Kris Jenner will totally change her last name to Kardashian to solidify her position as Kween of the Ks.

Can being a Paula Deen truther be a thing? Because I can get behind the theory that she's a deep fried soul eater.

Why "in the home"? What does that mean? Is that just a reminder that women belong in the home? Like, a knee-jerk follow-up to the word "women" that pops out every time she says it? Or does it have a different meaning I am not understanding.

People with mental health issues have enough fucking stigma to deal with without someoneimplying that she was only racist because she was "sick" and "should have been under the care of a doctor".

Her music isn't my cup of tea, but she's been growing on me. Like, she's assembled this kind of cool group of powerful lady friends around her, and she's incredibly nice and grateful to all of her fans. You don't see that in music very often.

Speaking of Meredith:

According to TMZ, there was no lawyer, but everything has been worked out with business managers.

I briefly misread that as "world will stop revolting..."

Shia LaBoef was trying to spell "meat marathon."

You are absolutely correct.

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt are the celebrity couple I would most want to hang out with. We could watch Cardinals' games and talk about Kissing Jessica Stein, and if things got sexual, I feel like they'd be very comfortable people to have that happen with.

I want to be Taylor Swift's friend. I am not a fan of her music, but I will take the cookies and kitties and pretend to love her songs because that's what BFFs do!

No, it just means they have another story line. I imagine the next season will consist of Kris going on cougar adventures.

I mean, he has to keep up with the Kardashians.

This is Bruce right now:

Does this mean Keeping up with the Kardashians is finally over?

My biggest issue is that the critics seem to listen to the one seemingly offensive line ("I'm bringing booty back /Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that") but not the line immediately after that which clarifies she was joking and not even at their expense: "No I'm just playing. I know you think you're fat/ But…