"Unfortunately, Ms. Grimes, we had to remove all your wisdom teeth."

Miko: This is like putting these players through 2 car crashes a week! They don't care about the players, they care about the money!

I pull this shit on my 9yr daughter all the time. It never gets old.

Whatever. Donald Sterling had the same idea years ago:

Archers, ranked

Force the Pats to be on Hard Knocks for the next two seasons. Belichick would lose his fucking mind.

The chubby kid playing his clarinet at the girls' soccer game is the best story I've ever read on one of these "Send me your tragic stories" posts Drew does from time-to-time. I was laughing for five minutes at the mental imagery of this girl tying to play soccer while a pudgy kid blows on a clarinet in an effort to…

I called this questionnaire 36 Reasons You Won't Be Answering My Texts.

Ever since moving to Liverpool, Balotelli just can't find a way to score.

The analyst in me says this is a pretty good solution to some of the problems plaguing Liverpool. The fan in me says FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Now I'm just imagining someone high on coke yelling "let's make some fucking sandwiches!"

In my small town the thing to do on New Years when you were a teen was to go to the skating rink and take part in a "Lock-In", where they lock the doors and you skate and "party" all night (which meant 1am).

Jesus Christ, she was being fucking nice. Her asshole friend assumed they were doing something wrong, when really they were just trying to go do something fun and couldn't afford it. She assumed that there was more to the story than them being "up to no good," went and asked - a novel concept, I know - and was right.…

That's only fair since Gilbert Arenas was a gunner.

As someone who has loved him as a player since his "never-scores-two-goals-alike" Atletico days and a guy who likes Liverpool, this makes me very sad. It almost seems like the only place he might be able to get back to his old form would be with Liverpool.

Let me get this straight, some kind-hearted Jaguars fan went out of his way to make sure that this couple didn't have to spend a weekend in Jacksonville and somehow he's the bad guy?

We took over England in the Revolutionary War, dummy.

Aside from some questionable attempts to go into a falsetto, I don't see what's awful about this...

Being hit by a sleigh?

The NFL is so evil it turned Ray Rice into a sympathetic figure. The only logical outcome of this is that he signs with New England so everyone can go back to hating him.