I was wondering what the fuck that was. I was all "that CAN'T be a thigh gap, right?"

I thought that somethin indecent was being blurred out. Good to know it's a purse.

I was trying to figure out what the hell that was.

Nope, you're not.

In all fairness I think Kardashian/Jenners age quicker than the rest of us- kinda like dog years vs. human years. My 17 year old can't remember to hang up her towel most of the time. And it would be a cold day in hell before I let her drop out of high school and date a 25 year old man. So I don't think we can really…

I'm going to ask this out of morbid curiosity: what's the etymology of the word "cooter"?

Is it just a sort of polite "oh mother hubbard!" style version of a certain four-letter word, or is there an actual root to it?

So it's pronounced 'Frenc'?

Yep. It's based on Lady Susan (not, oddly, Love and Freindship). Having lobster crotch and Jane Austen in the same post makes me very sad.

"I personally don't think the lobster on her pussy is real," she said matter-of-factly over brunch. "But Page Six attests to its veracity."

Run, pussy, run!

Yep, that's the euphemism. It almost makes it worse - like, is the whole family using it? NOPENOPENOPENOPE

No one will EVER steal your hankies, that's for sure. I'm on board with hankies.

My high school had a rule: for junior and senior prom, you had to have a date. And because it was a Catholic school, it had to be boy-girl. I had a crush on this junior when I was a senior, and asked him to go to the prom with me. He was completely enthusiastic about it and I was ecstatic. All he had to do was get a…

Someone telling me to "calm down" when I'm upset is a one-way ticket to me saying "I will stab you in the motherfucking eye with a goddamn ice pick! How's that for calm?!"

Last year I was going through a medication change and was a little... unstable. I had recently had a meltdown during my (newly) 3 year olds professional dance pictures when she didn't want to cooperate and scream/ cried, and my husband went against me in trying to get her to participate anyway (even though she was…

It's surprisingly important! I have my very own washer and dryer for the first time in my life, almost two years now, and I cannot express how much I treasure both not having to share them, and being able to use them any damned time I want.

I don't really have a lot of meltdowns, but one good one was when I really, really wanted to watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This was in like, 2009. I really wanted to show my boyfriend the movie because I love it and we lived in Chicago and I just love shit about Chicago. Well, my VHS player (yeah) wasn't working. I…

I was about 4 months pregnant and heading home in California traffic (fellow so cal-ers we're talking 5pm on the 10). I was rushing home to see a World Cup match my hubs and I had dvr'd. I had to detour off the fwy to avoid these billboards that showed the scores. This added another 30 min to my commute. I had left…

During grad school, I spent a lot of time in Italy, and ended up dating a guy from there for a few months. We had a lot of differences that we couldn't compromise on and as a result, we used to have the most incredible fights.

I'm normally a very nice person who values politeness and kindness- until this one day. I had just moved from a pedestrian-friendly city to one that required a car, and was still adjusting to car culture when I got really sick and had to go to the doctor. The office was in one of the busiest areas of the city, and I…