I'm glad to see you here, too. Thinking about doing an advice column aimed at my mom and her friends because they have so many good questions. Eh?

This is the best, and most thorough response to this entire situation.

I think this shoe/dress combo is nice, but I also really want to get freakin' followed by The Muse already so instead I'll say "ICK BLERGGHHHH WHAT A TERRIBLE COLOR COMBO, JULIANNE SO YOU ARE SO RIGHT AS ALWAYS"

I need to do this immediately. My left thumbnail is split horizontally just a few millimeters south of the white. I actually did a patch and paint with a piece of cello tape that worked for a few days. Now it is time to bust out the sewing box and see if I have any silk. Might have to resort to the teabag. And it…

As part of the series, can you provide pretty solutions for us ladies with man-hands?* And can all articles with pictures of feet come with trigger warnings? Kthanksbai.

oh my god

I need you to know that BCO makes me look forward to Mondays. Not just NOT DREAD Mondays, but actually LOOK FORWARD to them. I don't tell people this. When I walk around on Mondays humming, smiling, with a spring in my step, I'd prefer they just think I'm batshit crazy, because that way they'll leave me alone to…

Perfect for the new Fruedian diet, where you can only eat food that makes you dream about driving into tunnels named for your mother.

I was intermittently getting horrible neck and shoulder pain for a while in my 20s — to the degree that I'd be stiff and extremely sore for a couple of days. Then I spent a few days visiting OOT friends, flew home super hungover and spent the next two days just hanging out in the bed with novels and snacks. Woke up…

I once dropped an ice cube on my toe, slicing it open so badly that I have a scar from it now.

It's such a yummy dress and the styling just kills the look. She looks kinda like how I'd look in that dress and I'm 47. My daughter would be trying to get me to really GO with it (the drama of the dress) and I'd be, "I'll just wear these shoes I wore to Ashley's wedding last year because I don't need another pair…

When I was 12, I was testing out some superfly dance moves in the shower while grabbing the towel bar at the end of the tub for balance. Like you do. I slipped and grabbed the bar harder, and the extra stress of my weight pulled the bar out of the wall and brought a chunk of tile along for the ride.

This isn't me, but it was a guy I was dating at the time. We had vermicelli for dinner. There was one little dried bit of vermicelli stuck to the botom of the pot. Boyfriend, who was always cleaning pots and pans with his hands first to "save sponges" (WTF even is that) was cleaning it and decided to scrape the piece…

In 7th grade I was trying to catch up to my friend by our lockers, so I jogged over to her and shouted "Kenna, wait up!" As I did so, I rolled my ankle, and felt it crack. I was just wearing flip flops! (Not even those sky high Rocket Dog shoes that were popular at the time). Teachers had to carry me to the office,…

1. Chipped off half of my front tooth by falling flat on my face, tripping over my own feet, while excitedly running down the hall way on the last day of school in 2nd grade.

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

Oh Christ, where do I begin?

1) Slammed the stapler down on my thumb in Kindergarten, just to see what would happen (lots of pain and a stable embedded in my thumb, that's what happened)