His family was so straight laced and proper. I couldn't even imagine what that conversation was like.

Haha no no, I would freely admit that. I just clicked the article, and was like "that guy looks kinda familiar...." (I really wasnt ever expecting anyone I dated to fuck a cow, I mean...a bull maybe. But a female?!) and then I saw the name and was like HOLY SHIT, and preceded to call everyone I've ever met.

Kinda like that time I went on Huffington Post and stumbled across an article about a guy I dated in high school being arrested for fucking a cow. That was a good day.

Sadly, there already is a Home Alone 4

I am so thankful I am too old to understand the appeal of 4chan and reddit. At the same time I feel like there is so much of other people's lives that I just don't understand because of this.

Sometimes, at work, I will call our fax number, just so I hear the sweet sounds of my youth.

These companies aren't promoting or glorifying rape, they are offering products to a niche market of people who may not purchase a self-protection product unless it was "cutesy".

And I remember when Nintendo 64 came out and I was like "holy crap, it looks like real life".

Clearly the saddest thing in the world would be to die without a wikipedia page.

As soon as you said "Guinea Pig shirt" I knew it was a Mountain T-shirt. I used to sell those. So many big animal faces.

freaking amazing.

I just don't understand. Who cares? And how can nearly 1 million people have liked some of those pictures?

So that's all it takes to get a crapload of people's attention?

Dude has bangin' legs.

My ice cream truck plays some song that starts with "Come on!" and then there are whistles and shit. And it goes on all day every day, all summer. I hear it in my sleep.

I haven't heard Wrecking Ball in awhile actually now that I think of it...

In preschool one of the teachers told us that if you stuck your hand into a bucket of floor cleaner, and then put your hand in the microwave it would turn into a candy coating you could eat.

"Let's say you're with your friends on a farm and everybody is trying to make up dance moves. " That sentence made my day.