Are you a white heterosexual male who spent his childhood in an upper-middle-class (or higher) predominantly Caucasian community in the far Northeast of the United States? If the answer is no, The Catcher in the Rye is not for you.

I still own the Riverside Shakespeare I got in college, which is set up more or less the same way, only the explanations are footnotes, which take up around half of each page of text. The information was invaluable.

I did actually loathe Moby-Dick in high school; but that was because all we were made to read was an excerpt, and then we had to decode/describe all the symbolism....I have come to believe that the American educational system is deliberately designed to turn students off reading.

“Promised me the known world, he did.”

Any hospital supplies with compromised packaging—even a tiny hole or dimple in the plastic wrapping—is unusable due to hospital regulations. So a whole pack of these cloths, straight from the factory, still has to be trashed unused if they don’t like the look of the packaging. These folks are just taking the…

I wish I could star this more than once.

I dunno about that particular article, but sticking rocks up your va-hootchie and/or steaming it (??) are both things that can lead to serious infections, up to and including TSS and death. Paying too much money for the rock in question (because Gwinnie says it’s somehow special) does not make it any safer.

Snatch is also good.

I like those words that start with “va” and then are just nonsense syllables.

Cooter is one of my all-time favorites.

Colbert used the term “Goop chute” and that’s what it is for me from now until I die.

I have some bad news for y’all: Joseph never actually existed.

“How Nature Says ‘Do Not Touch’”

One of the benefits of being a rube from the whitey-tightey sticks: When you grow up, you get to taste all the world’s wonderful food for the first time—at an age when you can appreciate it.

That’s when he went public with his story, saying the restaurant chain “should take this more seriously” than merely sending a goodwill voucher.

Another advantage to steaming is that less water = comes to a boil much faster = you get your eggs quicker.

Casting for McAfee in this version of the movie hasn’t been announced

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1. By all accounts LaLaurie was a hideous sadist. IMO basing a fictional series on these events would be no different than basing a series on the guards of Auschwitz or on that skeery fella John Gacy—in other words, completely fucking tasteless.

he’ll play Oren, who’ll face off with the show’s heroes, Beldor (Will Poulter) and Tyra (Markella Kavenagh).