Fuck, I get this and I am not even being interrupted, it just happens throughout the day... I think it has something to do with my surgery. oh well...nothing a bag of peas cant fix.

Oh the sound of CIWS in the morning.... “bvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvt”

At first I was like, “what a bunch of fucking idiots.”. Then someone came by my desk and was like “When is the Korn show?” and I envisioned myself, arms in the air, signing along with Johnathan Davis on stage... so yeah, enjoy fellas. To each his own, Rock on!

Ozzy man is a fuckin genius.

To each his own.

Sacramento Kings fans give two fucks about Kobe and his bullshit career. Peace out mother fucker. Good Riddance.

“Cooked runny yolks”? What the hell is that....it’s either cooked, or runny. No in between here my friend. Pick a side already.

Some sort of food fetish have we?

You spelled ‘James’ wrong... it’s spelled C U R R Y.

That is an incorrect statement, and is false in every sense of the word. Fried, poached, runny, gooey, slimy...are not how eggs should be eaten. I think that is in Corinthians 2:69

See what I mean... Animals. You eat runny yolks, and use vulgar language. Heathens I tell ya.

Fried hard, I can do, even then its a bit of a stretch.... when its actually solidified... but runny... fucking gross.

This has nothing to do with politics, so take that runny shit elsewhere. This about man and beast, and you my friend, are the beast.

Burnt steak, no ketchup on pasta, that’s just freaky weird.

Chicken Jizz... that’s what it is. Dribbling down your chin. Dirty.

Bravo.

I still don’t understand how you heathens can eat runny yolk. Just fucking disgusting... the way you sop it up with toast... running all over your plate and touching everything else. Animals. Pure disgustingness.

Ahhh fuck yeah... I should have read these months ago.... I will be colleting $1 million dollars by this friday, should my check clear... I have won a free Dyson vacuum, a new car, 11 Russian women want to marry me, aaaaand...aaaaand.... I am about to gain 8" on my overall penis length...with a simple surgery. Things…

What if I tripped on the way out the door... my wallet flies out of my pants, hits the ground... 500 euros falls out behind the door... she closes it before I can get my cash back and locks the door... I mean, it is plausible right?

Considering the Onion is the “Devils Vegetable” im gonna pass on that.