Actually only 4 out of 5 agree.

Actually only 4 out of 5 agree.

I hate this fucking guy. He is the white Cosby. Together I am sure they have some sort of rape dungeon in the middle of the fucking deepest darkest forest they could find.

God I remember doing this to my little brother on the bed so many times.... those were the good ol days.

I’ll tell you what... I’m going to put my lazy as fuckn kids to work from now...get off those damn phones and come clean this shit up right god damn it.. “OH, you want to go over your data allowance and expect me to pay for it? Well guess what... Gets ta’ scrubb’n [Martin voice]”

Every time I find a football shaped elf turd on the cutting board I freak the fuck out... wooden cutting boards are bad enough, but to have little rolling surprises slide out every time I open it, is killing me inside. Its been like 6 months. Pulled out the fridge about 3 weeks ago... holy shit. You would have thought…

Fuck me... we are the worst about leaving little snacklets on the stove. Shit, no wonder the fucker is leaving turds all over my cutting board. Right next to the stove.

Ah shit... this explains it all then. Should have scrolled down a bit more.

DEAR GOD... can someone please help me here. First note, i’ll ditch the poison. I put like 5 of those fuckers all around where I saw mouse turds. The fucking rodent seems to be coming somewhere under my lower cabinets, near the stove and oven which I think is where is chilln cuz its warmer? However, I am finding turds…

This kid is just raking in the pussy.

Oh my god... “YOU ARE A FACTORY OF SADNESS!” I just lost my shit at work and can hear everyone around me trying to figure out why I am crying at my desk... oh dear god... that was like a bullet to my pleasure center...

I took as much leave as possible when all 3 of my children were born..2 girls, 1 boy... all of my vacation and anything the employer would spare. I actually took less when my son was born because then I only worked 10 min from home, so came home for lunch every day. So yeah... whats up now suckas?

Would anyone know how to find the name of the lady in the photo? I swear to god I know her... I dont want to drop her first name here, but want to verify if that is actually her... oh dear god.. this is hilarious.

My wife and I have 4 children. Well, she had 4, I just watched. Anywho, my son who was child #4 in the chain was it... no mas, wrap it up, game set match. So I got snipped. My son is now 4 and pretty self sufficient, with the exception of a good ol fashioned ass wiping. My wife and I have more time for things we want…

Pick Six Chicks with Dicks.

Uhhhh I think it’s time for me to go get a shot.

Was that a Wu Tang cut at the end? “He need a amblance bro...oh shit...all type of fucking blood...”

Solid form.

He meant to say “@ the bank depositing me riches.”

Jezus christ... I dont even watch this stupid fucking show and can tell they put a few turkeys down the ol gullet this holiday season. Are they both pregnant?

Well said. I like the positive spin on that.