I would say about Tim Lee that “I haven’t seen a man leave such a burning wake in his trail through Atlanta since Sherman,” but most of Cobb County doesn’t have access to the books to explain the joke.

Vigilante justice is not great. Larry’s going to die in prison, no need for anyone else to ruin their life over him.

Yes, both of those thoughts are bad. Particularly the second one.

I assume we can look forward to Penn State erecting a statue in honor of Simon soon.

Imagine a world, where content creators are paid by the word....
/BLACK MIRROR!

The plural of “anecdote” is not “data.”

He has achieved a level of sass that can only be reached from years of working at the DMV.

Dammit, you can’t just go around proposing that everybody eat their babies, no matter how modest you are about it.

Called everyone a “cunt”...didn’t yah? Yeah...they don’t like that so much round these parts 

Whatever, Albert. Let’s see you look cool while trying to shoot a 55 lb. basketball.

My favorite thing about sober kid conversations is that they’re exactly the same as drunk adult conversations.

Since Trump was in attendance there were actually two soft flanks.

I’m going to guess you actually had nothing to do with it.

Yea I’m totally convinced UCF would have been able to hang with these teams! Undefeated!

HMMMMMM

“If it weren’t for Mississippi, Alabama would be last at everything.” - C. Barkley

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

if only kendall jenner got there sooner with that pepsi...

Holy shit dude get an editor.