The ceremony will be held in the parking lot so everyone will have to look the other way.

Jimmy Fallon is tricked into eating a poison pill and has a minute to say something not-phony for an antidote pill or die.

Really? We haven’t had any hate crimes since the Civil Rights Act passed? No black churches shot up or burned in the last year?

Sorry, no. Teenagers are assholes and need to be taught by assholes to become bigger assholes. Wait, that’s business school. Never mind.

let me say it again:

You’ve really cut to the core of this issue Barry. Today is the day to do something meaningful because damn it, we may not have tomorrow.

My favorite Sager and KG moment. Nothing snarky to add, Cancer sucks.

If CBS values my opinion so much why isn't Kevin James buried neck deep in hippo shit right now?

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Finebaum would still have cried fowl

This will also be my face when Finebaum is suspended from his show for a week, and his listeners go on Twitter to complain about his First Amendment rights being violated by big government...

To quote Bomani Jones:

Kaepernick should have performed an armed takeover of a bird sanctuary. The only acceptable form of protest.

Remember the golden years of Camalot when politicians would actually fuck gorgeous movie stars and not just pathetically jerk off in front of an electronic screen with strangers?

It’s gonna be a commune now.

God damn it Chris again? I can hear the fucking echo.

I don't know how I know this, but that man definitely takes phone calls when taking a dump at work.

Young Justice.

Binged the first two seasons of Better off Ted on Netflix and fell in love.

Supernatural. I was turned to it the summer before its fifth and final season. Ended up binging all five seasons that year.