Wow. Just.....wow. Trump makes Beck look positively sane.

Dogs? No work ethic. Can’t even tell time. Late for every meeting. #SAD!

That “sweating like a dog line” from his kickoff speech really pissed me off. Like, not only is he completely ignorant about all issues of social and cultural tolerance, but he also missed that day of 3rd grade where the teacher explained that dogs pant to release heat instead of sweating?

For a guy who’s maybe never met a dog, he excels at whining like a little bitch.

Not surprised the plot leaked. It’s already shit the bed a few times.

Cowboys Executive: The way it works is we get ourselves in a good position and we don’t make a move again until it’s over. Got it?

INVISIBLE PENIS AND BALLS!

No fair. Jerry Jones’ rigor mortis gives him an advantage.

The worst thing about a Mazel Tov cocktail is having to light all nine fuses before throwing it.

+1 should’ve stopped at “Chanukah Lewinsky”, you greedy half-brilliant bastard.

She went on to blame Hillary for Bill’s past infidelities, including his affair with Chanukah Lewinski and rumored misconduct with PauL’Chaim Jones.

THEY YANKED THE BABY ACCOUNT FROM THE WOMB HIS TINY HANDS

This is essentially like pulling out when she is 37 weeks pregnant. It’s a tad too late.

Tiny twitter fingers turn to accessing to the nuclear arsenal fingers. 

Every World Cup, pundits ask what would happen if our best athletes chose soccer. Now we know.

The Secret Service took him furniture shopping earlier in the day.

As Greg Howard said of this video, “To the cucker goes the spoils.”

I don’t pretend to know the whole story here, but what a bitch.

Interesting, I didn’t know Jones is a republican.