Is it wrong that I spent at least half hour yesterday looking at all the Amazon reviews from angry moms with their kid’s bad hair pictures? It’s so funny and entertaining. Like, for fucks sake, it says on the box that they stick to hair. Maybe don’t let your kids play with it alone if they're prone to putting stuff in…

The First Peoples of North America might disagree with you there.

I like that- on the list of deductions under Medicare, FICA , medical flex and their 401k it will say ‘Ahmed’ $400. Every month for the rest of their life.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

Ugh. I think I’m out on this one. It makes me sad to read these.

Okay, that was good, but like - question - Is something happening to Kitchenette? Are you taking over the food things? What about Behind Closed Ovens? What is going on? Fear and rumors are spreading through the populace and 500 Days of Kristin is causing riots in the threads! I’m scared!

James Wright just made my night.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA ARGUE ABOUT THEN??

While we’re at it, can we delete “Baby’s It’s Cold Outside” from all Christmas playlists?

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

Um, if he was kissing her “forcibly” then why “get a room” rather than “Hey, Maverick, Katie doesn’t look so comfortable getting goosed”?

My cousin told me this story that his partner told him when he was training as a tribal police officer. When his partner was a rookie, he was driving down a road that was fog over. It was at night and cold. It was rather miserable. He sees a man walking down the road wearing a red sweater hitchhiking. My cousin’s…

Any woman after visiting The Game: My neck hurts and my pants are wet only because I had to dry my hands on them.

Iggy will probably feel a lot better after she takes a dumpling.

“All vegans are awful SO LET’S SHIT ON THEM” is frequently a trope meat-eaters* like to bust out for a variety of reasons, virtually all of which are ultimately both self-serving and self-aggrandizing.

When a man and a woman are really in sync they get together sexually. Nine months later, you have a new kid on the block! A doctor will come and inspect babby, if its temperature is 98 degrees you can keep the babby!

YAY! I’ve literally been refreshing this page constantly for the last 20 minutes because this week, I AM PREPARED. WITH PHOTOS.

“My grandfather wonders to this day whether he was supposed to be the customer or the merchandise.”

I came across these stories last year and I found them hard to get through, I guess I’m a wuss, but last January something really weird happened to me and I’ve wanted to share it ever since.

A few bits of background are necessary for my story, so please forgive the long preface. I promise there’s not a “and I said to the cabbie, yo homes, smell ya later” at the end.