It'd be a lot more scary if she wasn't retired.

Why is the Congress rolling over and lettin' this Communist dictator destroy my country? Y'all know what he is and I know what he is. I want him out of the White House. He's not a citizen. He could've been removed a long time ago.

In a perfect world, this lady is allergic to crunchy, sells monogrammed thermoses, and is named "Nancy."

Um, I don't know Colin, let me tell you a story about a stubborn young girl who hated sports and didn't like learning about things that she hated

They came over from 4chan just for this.

It's because

Who sang it best: Fred Durst, or the guy in charge of recording Rob Durst's hot mic?

Had more fans. There current whereabouts are unknown.

I'm disappointed that caffeine won the whole shebang. I lost a lot of respect for people around these parts.

So you're against clearly marked exit signs?

Satanic Advocate — your guide to all things satanic and gay.

Well, that's not the gif I intended to post, but I'm leaving it.

"Find three unrelated witnesses"

So...investigate?

Title is 100% perfect.

I couldn't really process anything you typed because that image of St. Louis pizza at the top of your post was so horrifying.

Those frat bros were basically just singing a slightly less poetic version of strange fruit, right? I mean pretty much, cmon. Why the heck can Billie Holiday sing about lynching but not a bus full of white bros?? It's just not fair! The reverse racism of it all!!

Seriously, Maryland has fucking DOGFISH HEAD and people are going to talk up Natty Boh?! What the hell?!

First off, Wikipedia is not a reliable source

The fuckton is a standard weight measure, not metric.

Don Shoup's book The High Cost of Free Parking (which all sentient beings should read) points out, in a footnote IIRC, that most of what Joseph Smith declared to be the Garden of Eden is covered by surface parking lots.