I’d pay $50 to watch a livestream of tiny acrobats kicking the shit out of Daniel Lamarre.

“Dinner Party” was the point I realized I no longer enjoyed the show, or really cringe comedy in general, and bailed. It was well-executed, but it’s not for me.

There were no big dramatic moments or revelations, or contrived misunderstandings, or tragic events. Just a couple of people gradually falling for each other, like real life. So much more relatable.

Thank God we dodged that bullet and never had an idiot for a president.

“Can we be seated in the non-smoking section?”

While we’re talking about the return of les grandes dames, here’s some great comeback news about perhaps the greatest living movie star of all: Sophia Loren makes her dramatic return (as a holocaust survivor who takes in a young immigrant boy; directed by her son Eduardo Ponti)

That Much Ado has a ridiculous cast. And it is, for me, peak Tex Avery wolf response Emma Thompson. She's gorgeous and Beatrice is 100% my kinda chops-busting gal. Thompson's Beatrice and Julia Stiles' Kat Stratford from 10 Things are my fav Shakespeare ladies.

You are eating too slow :)

How has “Bad guy from a ski movie” not come up yet? 

if shakira gets sued she won’t have to swear under oath, since her hips don’t lie

I was holding it together until the guitar teacher.

Not sure what made me laugh harder, the line about “some punks kissing and laughing eating mozzarella sticks,” or the idea that his wardrobe is what’s keeping Pastor Troy from winning a Grammy.

This is prose-cursing on the level of Veep. Made me chuckle.

“That’s my secret, I’m always angry”
-Katherie Heigl

“Eet eez a stow-ree about sevairal whyat peeple, who have an advonshure of some kind een empecablee fraymed shots, and ees, how you say, incrediblee twee?” ~ plot seenopsees, Fronsh Amazown

Next step is to create fake IMDb pages for all of these. No one would ever notice.

It’s actually Episode IV: A New Pope

I came for the Lizzo support, and then got bonus Jameela Jamil awesome saltiness.

I would totally be down for a CW version of Sexy Encyclopedia Brown Who Fucks.

Pile-On Pete?