If there’s one thing you need to be good at to succeed as an OL coach in Miami it’s how to cut a line into shape.

good.

Considering how they slice their bagels, I’m surprised anyone from St. Louis had any fucks left to give.

eh fuck these people

Fuck them.

Ha! It’s funny because Bartolo Colon is fat!

Good point. I should just be happy they didn’t fight for it hobo-style. 

Nice of J. Lo to have the cake customized for his personality.

Reporters being too busy stuffing their face with frosting and not giving us the full Mary Berry on cake quality is a perfect metaphor for something or other. 

I’m just gonna stop now because i don’t know where we go from here

You knew that cake wasn’t gonna survive a bunch of sportswriters. Luckily Bob Ryan is retired, because he would have complained about the presentation and then ate half the freaking cake

You’d think someone with a giant ass and infinite wealth would be better at picking out baked goods

A-Rod just wanted someone else to eat the outside of the cake first, since he only prefers the centaur pieces.

If Perez had any sense of comedy he would have thrown that ball over the fence too.

obligatory

Yes-Haw! Copy that you son of a bitch pile of monkey nuts!

Why doesn’t he build the entire game out of that throw?

Good Riddance. Take Watson with you…

and the five, err, four good Splinter commenters.