“Rich Old Man Gets Cheap Handjob” can’t possibly beat “Openly Gay Sports Commentator Called Slur By Employer On Twitter, Sues, Employer Files Police Report Claiming Self-Ownage.”

I can’t tell you how many times his has happened to me.

What I like about you admitting this is that now we know that both remaining Orioles fans are part of the Deadspin commentariat.

As a Canadian, I feel like you don’t have much experience with Canadian Geese, who are even bigger assholes than regular geese.

Whelp, everyone can shut it down right now for the next 14 weeks. We already have our winner in the category of “Most 2019 Sports Story”. At this point, the only thing that can top this one is if Donald Trump were to step down as President because he’s buying an NFL team.

Correct looks like how I talk to my kids.

I maxed out at 6'3.75" and back and knee problems have brought me back down to an even 6'3".

Because the Lollipop Guild is full, short stack.

Are we playing Mad Libs?

I’m still seeing it. And they’re not even synched up.

Moon

If you want to spend 2 hours in space with a sad guy, it should be this one:

This is so good.

OG Anunoby was robbed. He should have been higher than at least one Antetokounmpo.

The Andy’s are the two most finely crafted and severely underrated supporting characters in the entire Cornetto Trilogy.

The Dolphins’ big receivers, DeVante Parker and Preston Williams, pretty much did what they wanted with Dallas’ secondary, even if their ability to catch the ball was intermittent.

+1 made the same joke on the last Gundy article here

Do the Fire still have Schweinsteiger?

I’ll be waiting for Michal Sáček to show up on Burkeno’s next list of players who are butt. 

+1 Sea Bass