White men scare me.

None of those things are quite as efficient and effective at killing. Like, it only takes a second to pull out a gun and put a bullet in someone’s brain.

You could build an entire house out of all that straw.

I’m leaning toward I don’t fucking care, as long as he’s put away for life.

It’s incredible what makes people become unglued. Motherfucker, smoking inside buildings has been outlawed basically everywhere for YEARS. This is not new information. Yet this is what he decided was worth killing someone over? Some defenseless employee just doing her job, telling him something any idiot knows? The…

Man, it felt so good to write that instead of just screaming it at the poor white bastard that’s married to me.

This is a stupid reason to shot someone. How entitled must this guy have felt to pull his gun out on a woman who was telling him to quit smoking. I don’t know if he had mental issues or just asshole issues but I’m leaning toward asshole issues.

This country fucking scares me.

Well, it's ok, because he's not a Syrian refugee. That's the real threat right there!

IF ONLY SHE HAD BEEN CARRYING A GUN THIS TRAGEDY MIGHT HAVE BEEN AVERTED

I want to get it out there that as a former member of the NRA, as somebody who has had a carry permit, and as the owner of several serious guns, I define both “civilization” and “polite society” as “Places where people don’t have to go armed and be ready to kill at a moments notice.”

Remember kids, an armed society is a polite society. In that everyone has to kowtow to the armed thugs or get murdered.

I got carded to watch a rated R movie. Today is my 28th birthday.

Every day can be Turkey Day...

I feel Selena’s perpetual baby-face pain.

I wanted to reply something funny to you and I googled “zayn ugly” and every picture that came back was just beautiful eyes and razor sharp cheekbones, so yeah you win this round.

Here's my hypothesis. Zayn is objectively the “hot one.” You are now free to submit evidence confirming or rejecting this hypothesis.

“No. Do you make crackers Brian?”

It’s really gorgeous, isn’t it? Those Moroccan-inspired light fixtures are really working for me. The caption with the picture, though? “Stop looking a what you don’t have. Manifest beauty in your life.” Stop, Khloe. Just...stop.

Khloe’s setup looks amazing but if I ever tried anything like that those candles would probably light the whole table on fire and we’d all have to eat hospital food at the ER.