Oh, TomatoFace, you magnificent bastard.

Bro, I know that this is a feminist website, but you are trying too hard.

It's true. Every single man you know has a "toolbox of oppression" in which we keep our larger paychecks, stolen nude photos of celebrities, one get out of jail free card for a sexual assault, and, of course, our boxer briefs.

Or victim?

I'm going to quit my job and just devote my life to being an Ariana Grande's Ponytail truther.